Please read this while you listen to my music as it realy helps you understand my music and where im coming from with it..
Basicly when i was at high school i bought a guitar of a friend for a tenner tought myself to play when i got better i got a better one...i left school a fell in with a bad crowd and stopped playing for a year ish.
I met a girl and moved on from being stupid.and on my way to see her everyday i would listen to oasis and the seahorses that kind of stuff and instantly wonderd if i could still play.i went down to little shop called frog lane music who sold guitars and amps that were factory returns cos of sratches that kind of thing.i found an acoustic guitar for £65 it was a washburn i still have it now..i took it home and started to get back into it..learning beatles and stuff i was into.
An old friend called louise rings me up one day saying shes met someone and he`s into music and singing did i want to hook up with him for a jam as hes looking to start some kind of band..so we met up and and got on well we started a band got a drummer,bass player ect and started to practice.we were a covers band at the time but as i got more into the hole thing i started to try and write my own songs.the first one being (typical day).its not on hear or anywhere else i do have a version of it but it one did with my old band more about that in a bit!
So yeh...we get a set together and become good friends.During our time practicing my mum sits down with me and tells me she has cancer i was shocked she had on operation the year before this was to get rid of it but i didnt know what it was for..it hadnt worked out and she now needed to start cemo.my girlfriend had been going to newcastle uni for two and a bit years now and she had left me about two weeks before mum told me she was ill.i instantly ring her to see if i can see her she didnt want to she was so bussy with her new life and friends.
I started to take mum all over the country for her treatment we would go in the car for long drives to the diffrent hospitals and we would listen to the beatles mainly.my mum loved them as a teenager and still did.As time moved on she got very ill because of the treatments she was having,it was rough to say the least she was very brave.the day we went for her last tratment we waited for ages people were going in before us who had arrived after us..eventualy the doctor came in and told her with me that her treatment had not been working i will never forget that room,day,doctor or anything about it....she started on a new treatment the next day i would sit in the hospital with her and try and write songs in a note pad but it was just to hide the fact of why we were their nothing ever happend..the new treament was very strong and made my mum very ill indeed she only had two of them..
December was on its way and the band was ready for giging we booked a gig a a local pub called the dicconson arms.my mum was to ill to go so we filmed it for her to whatch i wanted to call it off but she insisted i played it.she never got to see it as she died later that week even though she was very ill it was such a shock.The night she died i was out at a friends house and my sister rings me saying "dont you think you should come home"i was drinking a lot and getting stoned i just diddnt twig what had happend...i get home about half an hour latter and the house is so quiet and still again i will nver for get it im told what has happend and i go upstairs to see her on my own...now im not going to say everything i said to my mum that was between us..but one thing i did say is i will make you proud of me.
The fueral comes and goes it was hard in more ways than one but its over now im in a state of loss but my hunger for music is growing and getting stronger and stronger.the band is supose to play the week after and i wanted to cancel the gig its back in the dicconson arms..the band compleatly agree but my nan says to me "why aint you playing mum would want you to" so we do and it sounds cheesey but i did it for her i played a blinder i realy wanted people to see what i could do with a guitar..in some ways i felt like mum was their.
So we play some gigs and eventualy the other guitarist starts to date the drummers sister NOT GOOD! ha ha the band splits it was fun while it lasted but this was only the start for me..
Now im back just wirting songs and working on my playing..when i was about 13 or 14 i suffered with realy bad depression i couldnt help it..it came back worse than before i was in a lot of det,no girlfriend,missed my mum so much and my dad who was still with my mum when she died brought another woman to her funeral i couldnt work it all out my head was full of all this and more im not going to put it all in i just want you to see wher my head was at the time.i now their are people in this world who have much worse problems im well aware of that but these were my problems and they were eating me up FAST.
Mum died in dec and its now feb its still winter and im of work because of the depression im stuck with..im listening to a lot of beatles and im inspired by tracks like elenor rigby i will go to visit my mums grave and as i pull into the little church yard where it is that track is on,music is just alive inside me trying to come out..one day im sat in the back room of my house with my guitar looking out of the window looking for inspiration trying to hard to write somthing just somthing you know?im looking out and all the trees are without leaves ecept the evergreens i stop and say "oh mum i wish you were like evergreen" "and never fade away" song number 2 (never fade away) and their it was i was trying way to hard to write something i realised i was trying to be something i wasnt trying to be the next noel galagher or john squire.
For me i found it realy easy to write about real things things that had happend to me i had experienced for real.not just something that sounded cool or rock and roll..thats how i would write from now on.
I asked Dave if he wanted to try a new band doing songs i had written he was interested so we found a drummer he knew a bass player and we advertised for a guitarist we were off again.now at this time i had about 3 songs TYPICAL DAY,NEVER FADE AWAY and BURNING HART.the guitarist we found was a fair bit older than us and one hell of a guitarist he was.he came for his first practice with us never heard the songs we played him TYPICAL DAY then he says yeh i will just jam along with ya for a bit..he sets his gear up we were shocked how goood he was we finished the practice he left and we were all like ha ha he wont be back he was way to good for us!he stayed with us for 3 years man! he became a good friend we co wrote a couple of songs he wrote all his own lead for all my songs and we played some songs he had writen too.we were a strong band..we went out giging,into recording studios and i learnt a hell of a lot about music from it all.during this time i would record my song ideas onto an old tape player this was how i kept some ideas that wernt quite ready or finnished.
After a while things progressed as far as they could and we went our seperate ways i was still struggling with my depression too but i was left with quite a alot of songs and a fair old singing voice..as dave was our singer i never realy did much but the odd song in a set and bvs.(backing vocals).
Soon after the split i invested in cheep pc and mic to record my songs onto it was great i realy came into my own with it my voice became stonger and i was picking up recording quite quickly.my songs started to take a diffrent direction as i was the only person working on them now..i upgraded my pc bought a good sound card and monitor speakers and preamp..a couple of mics and a dvd about mordern recording and mixing by secrets of the pros..after this the songs came thick and fast.
The end of summer 2007 i realy fell bad with the depression i couldnt be botherd with anything work,love life,people,music everything i just wanted to be left alone..a friend of mine came to see me we had a brew and a smoke and he says to me "mate it makes me sad to see you live like this" (ALL BY THE END OF THE WEEK) he leaves i go back to how i am just being on my own...enough is enough i needed to sort this out!!
Dont get me wrong hear im not just writeing all this to win harts or anything im just trying to paint a picture of how my songs were born.
Now i have tried every anti depressent their is bar one or two..DIDNT WORK.i tryed training i hold high grades in two styles of martial arts...DIDNT WORK.spoke to my doctor about things DIDNT WORK
do you know what did work??
I went for counsleing it wasnt that that realy worked its what was said that did..I told her what was getting to me her mouth was wide open in shock..she put her pad down and said "you know what Andy people come to me broken with two or three of your problems" "im not suprised you cant clear your head of it all" finaly someone understands me i thought..she says to me "im going to help you as much as i can"
So after a few weeks of going their she has helped me come to tems with certain things and she didnt say what everyone else does "yeh we all have problems"
I have some realy good friends but i supose they were never their for me in that way but when ever they were down other friends would make a fuss and say "hey such abody is realy down Andy go and see them have a chat with them"they saw me as stronger than they thought and never to this day do they know i wasnt!i guess what im trying to say is i just needed to talk to someone properly and work it all out..
half way through getting sortted out i wrote HEY MAN i use to look at myself in the mirror before going to see the counceler and i just looked f***ed tired and weiry hence the line in the song "all that i see`s this teary weiry eyed guy`and when i was getting better what would i do what would i tell people where i been?its all in their for anyone whos been their you will get it i promise.
SUNSHINE FADES TO GREY was a lucky one realy it was raining realy hard one day i was just watching everyone rushing about trying to get home caught up in it so i tryed to put into music on the piano a little run down to simulate it...i always wanted to write a song about letting myself down coz i let things get to me and the way i was for all those years so hence the line "the only place for blame was somewhere back with me" its all true i been so many places and i did close the door on everything and everyone didnt i?
SILVER LIGHTNING was inspired by just being sat in a night club their was a group of people couples ect on a night out and i was just sat in their very numb from drink and my mums death just whatching it all go by..one of this groups couples were quite drunk the girlfriend was on the dance floor danceing and flirting with some bloke..her fella is whatching it all it was qui
